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Saturday, 07 November 2009

I ran...

... and finished...2755th spot among female runners! (can u imagine how many thousand-th placing if it was the overall race?? )

They finished too! (Waaay ahead of me...)

Was told to drink liquid at all the drink stations. Never drank so much 100+ in my life before (I usually don't drink 100+).

This experience highlights Hebrews 12:1-3 in a new way...

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Career... Competing with horses?

The biggest challenge I have in my life at the moment would be work-related. Of course there's bigger issues/ challenges/ celebrations around me involving life or death/ family crisis/ reconciliations/ wedding bells... concerns more deserving of my attention.

But when I quieten down at the end of the day (or at various intervals during the day)... one thing that often bothers me is direction at work. Or the lack of it. Coming end of September, I'd moved to SG for 2 years. Which also means that I've worked here for a similar amount of time. There are ups and downs... mostly down periods in my work. Often I ask Him, what am I doing here? I've had the least success if any at all during my tenure here. Ocassionally I'd secretly wish that my bosses would tell me that they decide to close down the operations here. Then it's an "easy way out". But that hasn't happen hence why it's left me still wondering....

Yesterday I reflected... and realized that over the times of my career in Malaysia(which I never considered having one in the first place), I've tasted success. Every year for 3 consecutives times, I'd performed my duties as set before me. Had met the expectations and in the eyes of the world (at least at the workplace), I'm deemed to be successful. Once I arrived in SG, things went from one extreme to the other. With almost 2 years of experience here, I'd hardly closed enough deals to even meet half of the expectations set for me. Maybe because of my past successes, that it's harder now to deal with the failures? Or it could be having ploughed the ground for one year and coming close to reaping a harvest that natural disaster (in secular terms, it's better known as recession) hits and your crops are gone and you either plant again, or...? The worst part of it is I'm still clueless on how to meet those expectations. Ploughing the ground and planting all sorts of seeds. Of course there's the issue of "farmer/worker" shortage.

Faced with many "NOs", a number of "Near Yes' but ended up being a NO" and a couple of "Yes", you can find me at the throne room of grace, asking questions, waiting, frustrated, speechless, and sometimes crying tears of disappointment. The Lord met with me a few times. Once the devotional was titled "God, I hate this job!", talking about how Jeremiah wanted to call it quits because it was difficult doing what he did: prophesying for his nation's repentance else it's doomsday kind of message. Another portion goes like this:
"He does not align His plans to suit our dreams. We must align our lives and dreams to suit His plans. Some of our dreams, however great or noble, simply do not fit into God's greater purpose.... In other words, at the end of the day, all we get is what we have become along the way. And that can be a great thing, a really wonderful thing - but only if we let go of our own ambitions and entrust our lives entirely into God's shaping hand. Living a surrendered life is not about giving up and settling for mediocrity. Rather it's about giving in to God and discovering true greatness in Him."

One of the verses that stood out during "one of those nights" was Jeremiah 12:5 :-
"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"

Do I want to compete with horses? Can I? Lagging so far behind at the moment that I can't imagine/ remember how it feels like to be on par, racing with men on foot... much lest with horses.

*takes a deep breath*

Wednesday, 08 July 2009

Turning 28..

Turning 28… what are the significant happenings/incidents/events/observations in my life? In no particular order… here are 15 points:

1)      Knowing Jesus as Lord, Saviour and Friend for 20 years… and still loving Him.
2)      Married Kevin Goh and became Lim-Goh Bee.
3)      Struggling the most (I think) at the career crossroads/ with the situations at work.
4)      (Finally) joining community work with Wei Ni Learning Families’ Program
5)      Went away with Kevin to Krabi! Had a wonderful break.
6)      Owning my first belt, handbag and my own pair of formal shoes for formal ocassions (this has got something to do with moving away from my sisters’ = source of my resources)
7)      Going to start jogging (HOPEFULLY) consistently from tomorrow onwards (hopefully) with CJ & Kevin.
8)      Having Yan as my playmate in SG (hmm… probably more the other way round) & being called “Super Bee”
9)      Seeing my own family dynamics change and each one developing more and more our individuality but loving each other the same/ even more after Pa got promoted to Glory. The latest most happening thing for the family was (besides Aunty, cousin, bro-in-law, sister, Ma joining a marathon) was Ma & Ayee joining a dancing competition!
10)   Going away for holidays with in-laws. Most memorable as mother-in-law kena food poisoning.
11)   Having Kevin as room-mate. Discovering that I do grind every night and sometimes “aggressively”. Wearing mouth guard to sleep now…(less than 3 months and its got holes already)
12)   Having a baby around the house is fun. Not mine la… Kevin’s nephew – Brian. And waking up everyday to my new family. Chauffeur-driven to work with my faithful travel pack almost everyday! (Dad, Mom, and Brian)
13)   Giving ang pow for Chinese New Year! Haha… it’s cool. I know… many more years ahead to do so yea? Feel free to visit us in the coming years for a bit of “prosperity”.
14)   Shopping around (at a crawling pace) for the most expensive (and possibly very important) purchase in a lifetime… a home!
15)   Establishing friendships here. It’s a process… slowly but surely… getting there.

Looking ahead… turning 30 in 2 years’ time! Whoa…. Will start to think of that list for when I turn 30...

...later.

Thursday, 04 June 2009

So much more...

Excerpt from "Our Daily Bread"

One reason we’re left here on earth and not taken to heaven immediately after trusting in Christ for salvation is that God has work for us to do. “Man is immortal,” Augustine said, “until his work is done.” The time of our death is not determined by anyone or anything here on earth. That decision is made in the councils of heaven. When we have done all that God has in mind for us to do, then and only then will He take us home—and not one second before. As Paul put it, “David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell asleep” (Acts 13:36). In the meantime, until God takes us home, there’s plenty to do. “I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day,” Jesus said. “Night is coming when no one can work” (John 9:4). Night is coming when we will once for all close our eyes on this world, or our Lord will return to take us to be with Him. Each day brings that time a little closer. As long as we have the light of day, we must work—not to conquer, acquire, accumulate, and retire, but to make visible the invisible Christ by touching people with His love. We can then be confident that our “labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Cor. 15:58). — David H. Roper

If you rely upon God’s strength And live a life that’s true,
Then what you do in Jesus’ name Will be His work through you.
—D. De Haan

..........
........
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There is so much more work to be done.... Am humbled to learn of how much Pastor Manja has done for Jesus' sake when he "lost his freedom" for 9 years (= falsely imprisoned), and to think of how much I've done for Jesus when I'm up and about a free person everyday. There was another reason that chipped my pride… the fact that my zeal to pray for Pastor Manja was diminishing through the years, God still remembers him and is faithful to carry out His (rescue) plan.

The wonderful news is that… Pastor Manja is (finally) reunited with his family again. (http://www.gfa.org/manja ) Praise J! High time to find out what is the “so much more” in His plan...

Mark 9:23 "If you can?" said Jesus.. "Everything is possible for him who believes"

Saturday, 07 March 2009

Looking back...

Finally after having settled back to normalcy (though a slight emotional/physical adjustment for me – leaving from Joe & Che's home and moving in with the Goh clan), I have been able to reflect on what happened exactly one month ago…
And looking back, there are many reasons that I can thank God for…

Display of the congratulatory cards we have received with meaningful wishes (some were hand-made! )
Thanking God for your cards, generosity, assistance rendered with a servanthood heart to make our wedding simply memorable and most of all…the friendships through the months and years prior to our wedding and I believe, for the days to come.
Am thankful also for this unit God made = family. Mine for accepting Kevin and Kevin’s for accepting me into their lives and home.
This is a sonnet (didn’t know what it was until now) written by our friend and it was very kind and thoughtful words penned down - the writing skill is quite impressive I must say! Thought I’d share it here with all of you…enjoy the sonnet!
An Ode to Kevin & Fannie
Dearest Kevin & Fannie,
A godly and lovely couple as all with eyes can see.
Kevin, to whom some friends consider an animal
Until he whips out his Holy Bible
And Fannie, to whom loved ones call Ah Bee
Cos her nature’s sweet as honey

In Adelaide, you sowed His seeds
And in Singapore, He’s met all your needs

I pray that you continue to abound in His Love
The Holy One who sits on the throne above

I know not what tomorrow may happen
But I know you’ll have a little taste of heaven
To walk in a Christ-centered Love

I pray that you’ll stand shoulder to shoulder
Hand-in-hand
Scaling mountains
And walking through dark valleys

Never ever afraid
Cos He’s said
He’ll journey along the path
To guide you with His staff
That you’ll not stray
Till the coming of His Day

I’m sure that one day
When your hair’s all grey
That your love will be tender
As you remember
A lifetime of stories
A lifetime's journeys

To celebrate a love so pure
That I’m quite sure
If Abba Father does a lifetime review:
That He'll write...
"I’m so proud of you
Beloved son and daughter
It's time for us to be together
Time to wear your crown
To match your lovely white gown"
With everlasting love,
Abba Father

In a while, I shall rest my pen
Trusting that all’s well in God’s hand
And we'll all say a little Amen.

As St Paul had famously declared in his epistle:
"And may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you;" (1 Thessalonians 3:12)